Hello everyone! So it has been a while since I wrote a mediocre blog and I wanted to do one again since I haven't in awhile. So this is OOC and I just wanted to touch basis on this whole year. Note I know this year is not up and it's not even close to Christmas but, I am just ready to move forward into next year and share my thoughts on this year.
So this year has been a rollercoaster. This year was about fighting my inner demons and trying to better myself. I have a lot to work on but so far I think I am on the right track with that. So first off I ended a huge relationship that impacted my life. I was off and on in the relationship but now I can say that it is over. Sometimes I am still sad about it and which I could undo what happen but, I am moving on for the better and it feels like I can breathe again. So, Brent if you are somehow finding your way to this...I forgive you, I hope you forgive me. You still have a special place in my life and I hope all is going well for you.
This year I have been the most depressed I think I have ever been. I'll be real with you, I am a complete loser in real life. I mean I am going to school, going out but I only hang out with my brothers and one friend from highschool and that's it. So lately I have felt alone. Like there is no one I could talk to because I think I am a bother to people. So I would just stay to myself, trying to entertain myself and just get depressed by that. But thanks to some of you in the WWE gaming community, I realize that I am not alone and that there are people who would listen. So I wanna say I love you to Dre and Julie. I talk to them almost everyday and all the time. The cheer me up and they are just the realest and purest people I have ever met. Recently I have gotten really close to Aaron (Bomber) and he's been helping me through a lot. Recently he's been busy but we talk. He helped me through my breakup, and helping me through real life stuff as well. To Rican who just makes me feel special lol. I am glad that we went from enemies to the closest friends. We've gotten close as well and he makes this community fun for me again. We talk, RP, be stupid and joke and also have the realest conversations. So thank you! Other people I want to thank who I've talked to and been close with and been a big influence to me in the community are Tray, Teya (my day 1), Matt (Baker) even we don't talk much at all, you have helped me alot and been there for me with all my problems. Jeffrey crazy ass, and shout out to your mom, I love her! And to Mehgan (Sorry if I spelled your name wrong). I mentioned you because you were one of the only people who spoke to me without knowing me when I posted my last blog when I was really going through it. You just lifted me up. I'm sorry we don't talk a lot but, I am so happy that you spoke to me and what you're doing with your CAW Austen. And to everyone who I didn't mention but we've been kicking it since I got to this community in 2011 and till now, I love you! You all touched my heart and no matter what, I love you guys. We fight, block each other and then make up the next day, I love you guys. TBH y'all are the reason why I want to stay in the community as long as I can.
If there's anything that 2017 has taught me is that, make yourself happy. I mentioned my depression and what makes me sad but I switched it around lately and do the things that makes me happy. The things that makes me a better person. I started to eliminate certain people in my life that serves no purpose to me. The people who makes me look down on myself. I also started to go out more. I'm still a lazy bitch but I try to. I talk to people that understands me and we just have a good time. I try to cut off all the drama in the community so I can enjoy it more. Also I just want to say this....I am tired of the petty little drama we have in the community. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. But we need to work on how we say it. We can all have differences and not like something, but at the end on the day, I believe we must respect one another. I hate seeing people who are apart of the LGBT community in this community be shut down and called names. Like faggot and tranny, I have friends in the real world and here who are gay, lesbian, transexual and bisexual. And words do hurt. I mean it is 2017. You don't have to agree with their views but at least have common sense and not disrespect these peoples. And then the TKS vs BGB thing. I think we need to bury this hatchet. I am tired of the "I'm the original" or the "they copy" or "so and so did it first and better.". Like it is not that deep anymore. It wasn't that deep in the first place. At the end of the day, it's just a video game. If we son't like each other, we can simply mute. Block. And never speak to each other or about each other again. And don't call each other names, bring in real life personal stuff and be disrespectful. Just leave each other alone and and let that mess go. Then as for Xbox vs PS4 or RP vs SIM...it's stupid as well. When the video with Cameron Bash I actually agreed with him on somethings. I don't know the person who was manipulating the child but I do find it wrong and cruel. But after that when he wasn't really listening to what some of us were saying about RP and trying to defend ourselves, I had to block because of the name calling he did. So I think some of us should have a adult conversation and be adults and explain our views there so we can somehow get along. Cause I did like Bash and his leagues in the past. But I have him blocked and a majority of people on the Sim/PS4 side because I think they can take things too far and be disrespectful.
So at this point I do not have any problems with anyone. I want to wipe the slate clean and just try to be a better person. I want to know when to bite my tongue when I need to. And then when I am defending myself, try to do it in a respectful manner. And hopefully I can bring all this into 2018. So yea, I think that's basically it for me! I hope everyone had an amazing 2017 and we can all have a beautiful 2018. (Sorry for the spelling and grammar errors, I love to write but not be sophisticated about it...) And I will be putting up another blog explaing some more stuff about the community. More about RP/Xbox side!